youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have post one night stand depression
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
