I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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