My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Green mimosas i think yes
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
