I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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