If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
