He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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