I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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