This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
