ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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