I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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