Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
