What a fucking waste of an outfit
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
