I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
