i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
