Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize