Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
