Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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