Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
