All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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