I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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