I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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