Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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