She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
