what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
