When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
