dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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