I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
