I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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