it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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