the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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