I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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