So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
