good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
