With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
