I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
