don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
