Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
