my being single is dangerous.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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