Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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