what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
