3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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