If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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