Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
