I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
