i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
