just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
