Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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