i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
