he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
