This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
