Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
