and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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