i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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