youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
