You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
