We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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