omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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