Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
