I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
