someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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