It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
